Non-fiction

A Moment to Appreciate Draymond Green

Draymond Green plays for the Golden State Warriors, a team I don’t like. He is one of the best defensive players in the league, if not THE best, but I was rooting against him and his team hardcore in the Finals last year, and thought it was really brilliant the way Lebron James goaded Green into a suspension, because Green, like the rest of the Warriors, is a really dirty player, but unlike the rest of the Warriors, he gets called for it (because he doesn’t just do the Golden State Moving Screen Move, he, like, kicks dudes in the balls).

Whatever. Point is, I really owe him for this:

See, I was in a really hot and crowded bar called Half Court, which I love a lot even though that night it was full of a bunch of loathsome tech bros. And the game was so exciting, and we were all—everyone in this bar—shouting and sweating.

And if LeBron had gone up, and made that dunk, and sealed Golden State’s fate—Game 7 NBA Finals—I would’ve screamed, ripped my shirt off, started a bar brawl and been banned for life from Half Court. I’d still be screaming today, but I wouldn’t be allowed back in that bar. I’d have made sure of that.

But thankfully Draymond Green is good enough to stop a full-steam LeBron James, and keep me within the realm of acceptability, and we ended the series in good standing with the surly bartender (who has a heart of gold, I’m sure).

Man, did Draymond try to kick Kyrie Irving from the ground though?

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